


Not Enough

by Inkaley



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, End of the World, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, TEOTWAWKI - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkaley/pseuds/Inkaley
Summary: TEOTWAWKI has come - and all Troy can think of is Mike. In an attempt to save his childhood friend from the spreading chaos and the walking dead, he races to L.A. - and right into the eye of the cyclone.Mike has never felt at home at the ranch. Attending college in L.A. has given him a chance to break free from his confining home. But when Troy shows up in his new life, warning him of impending peril, he's forced to face his past - and maybe also his feelings, buried deep inside.Can the end of the world really be the start of something new? And will Troy ever be enough for Mike?Trike get-together, future Nike, potentially eventual Trick.





	Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catastrophage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catastrophage/gifts).



> Okay, here we go with something different this time.  
> Credit for this fic goes to catastrophage, who was being crazy with me on the Ifs and When of "Trike" and "Nike" ;) Only, that idea got me so obsessed, I couldn't help actually write it.  
> Doesn't really help that the actor playing Mike actually isn't as plain as you might think ;) [See for yourself!](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0214302/)  
> In case I feel like writing on, this will turn into Mike/Nick - and maaaybe possibly Trick as well. We'll see :)  
> For now, please enjoy this little take on "Trike".

_Mike._

It was his first and only thought as Jake spoke of the apocalypse. Society was falling apart, people were losing their minds. The world as they knew it was on the verge of coming to an end.

And all Troy Otto could think of was Mike Trimbol.

“I’ve heard enough,” Jeremiah said eventually, getting up from his desk, grabbing his hat and putting it on. “TEOTWAWKI has come. Seal the gates.”

Troy had already reached the door when his father said those words. He didn’t care about them. He wanted his family to be safe, yes, but the dangers and threats of the end of the world still seemed so far away from Broke Jaw Ranch. L.A. on the other hand...

“Troy!” It was his father’s voice at first that followed him outside, but Troy didn’t slow down. He’d already grabbed the key, heading straight for the pickup.

“Troy!” His brother’s voice this time - and Jake actually came running after him. “Don’t,” he said, as he looked at his younger brother. “I’ve seen what’s happening outside. You don’t wanna go there.”

“I don’t wanna, no,” Troy replied as he pulled open the door. Shooting Jake one last look. “But I gotta.”

 

The drive to L.A. was long and tiring, and even though Jake’s terrifying reports resounded in his head over and over again as he kept his eyes fixed on the road, the world that passed by outside the windshield seemed almost paradoxically calm and ordinary. No black clouds of smoke towering above city ruins, no planes crashing in the distance, no mad, blood-thirsty people shuffling along the road. He may have actually started to wonder if his brother hadn’t made a fuss over nothing, if he hadn’t been convinced that wasn’t the case. Jake would have never returned to the ranch willingly - and even less so would he ever have risked or even initiated getting locked in there.

Strangely enough, the only thing that was odd was the usual radio program in the car: When he turned it on, all that could be heard was static noise. He switched channels, and Katy Perry started blaring at him through the speakers. Hastily, he switched it off altogether. Apparently, the world hadn’t ended enough yet.

 

The closer he got to the city, the more his impression started to change. Given, there still weren’t any riots or chaos in the streets, but the number of cars passing him by - stuffed with bags and boxes and people, was unusually - and unsettlingly - high, as was the frequency the police siren could be heard from somewhere close by.

He did come across two accidents in a row as well as some gathering crowd at one of the squares he passed, but he didn’t pay enough attention to figure out what was going on. He needed to reach Mike’s college. That was the only thing that mattered.

 

***

 

It was already half past six when Troy finally parked the pickup outside - and right outside, cause the world was ending. No one should care about searching for a parking lot anymore. Hurrying inside the huge building, he realized he didn’t even have the first idea where exactly to look for Mike. What was on his schedule today? Was he still having classes or maybe already in the middle of having dinner? Even if he knew, that place was a maze - and Mike had never shown him around. He’d barely invited Troy to visit in the first place. And that one time, they’d basically stayed outside in the park nearby.

Troy looked around with a huff. He’d always felt as if Mike had been trying to shut him out of this part of his life, as if he hadn’t wanted Troy to catch a glimpse. He’d accepted it, begrudgingly, but what other choice would there’ve been?

Hurrying around aimlessly in the huge building, he eventually came across a big common room with dozens of tables, sofas and armchairs, a TV with a gaming console and a table soccer. The place was rather crowded with young people chatting, eating, drinking, but still no trace of Mike.

Troy was just about to shut the door again, when all of a sudden, a laugh reached his ear over the buzzing noise. A laugh he would have recognized anywhere.

Eyes immediately darting to the source, it took him two glimpses to actually recognize his childhood friend. It had only been a few months since they’d last seen each other, but Mike had changed. Part of his face was now hidden behind some awful, ridiculous hipster beard, that seemed to not fit him at all. What the hell was going on?! Why would Mike decide to do something like that? Why would he even _care_?

The whole notion of all this gave Troy a sting in the heart, there was no denying. And truth be told, that constant laughing Mike was engaging in didn’t help either. Who were all those people sitting with him at the table anyway? Why did they act so familiar around him? Mike didn’t have any friends at college. He just went there to study, that was the only purpose for Mike here - wasn’t it?! That’s what Troy had always believed. Or wanted to believe.

It felt like he’d barged into an entirely different world. One that had been hidden from him before - and one he didn’t want to explore, if he was being honest.

_Well, pull yourself together, Troy. Even if Mike has built a world of his own here - the world’s about to crumble. It won’t matter anymore. Things will go back to the way they used to be. You’ll see._

“Mike,” Troy said, approaching his friend from the side. And the smile Mike shot him at the very first moment was the warmest, most genuine he’d seen him smile in a long time. It felt so different, even with the beard. Especially with the beard. But it was the most breathtaking sight Troy had ever witnessed.

It only lasted a glimpse though, since as soon as Mike recognized him, his glance turned into a look of absolute confusion, shock maybe even.

That annoyed Troy.

“What are you doing here?” It sounded more like a reproach than a question.

“Haven’t you seen the news?” Fighting reproach with reproach.

“Oh, yeah, you mean those loonies at the shopping mall and the city hall.” That hadn’t been Mike, but one of the other people at Mike’s table. He had short black hair, a crooked nose and a self-righteous smile as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “We’ve seen them.” He looked at Troy as if he was expecting to be entertained by him. Like an audience would look at a clown in the circus. _Come, make a fool of yourself for us, little monkey._

“Those were just incidents, Troy,” Mike chipped in, drawing Troy’s attention back to him. He sounded more conciliatory now. “The police have everything under control.”

“We’re closing the gates,” Troy informed his friend with a grim look.

“What gates, JoJo?” a girl with red glasses asked, looking up from a notebook. To Troy’s surprise, her eyes were directed at Mike.

_JoJo? The hell...?_

“Home,” Mike replied off-handedly, as if he could brush the entire matter off the table. “It’s okay.” His eyes locked back to Troy’s, and this time he shot his friend a smile. “Thanks for the warning, Troy. Promise I’ll drop by this weekend, okay?”

“Hey, why don’t you have a drink with us, buddy?” Another guy interrupted their conversation. A scrawny man with a braided ponytail. “We’re having gin tonics.”

A remark that stupid wasn’t even worth for Troy to grace it with any kind of reaction. He kept his eyes fixed on Mike. “Not _this weekend_ ,” he declared, looking at Mike as if he’d lost his mind. “You’re coming with me – _now_.” It wasn’t a request.

At Troy’s tone, Mike’s face darkened immediately. He’d tried to call his friend off in a nice way, a polite way, but Troy was making it harder than it had to be – _again_. It was annoying. It was tiring. And most of all, it was humiliating. Under the eyes of his friends. Troy needed to learn his boundaries. If he didn’t accept it in a gentle way, it would have to be the hard way.

“Go home, Troy,” Mike replied, darkly.

“You’re coming.”

“I’m staying.”

Troy couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Over my dead body.”

He was just about to grab his friend’s wrist – the eyes of the people at the table widening in disbelief, as they realized what was going to happen next – when all of a sudden, everything changed.

An ear-deafening bang cut through the everyday lives of the students at the college, so loud, all of them winced in shock, and the force of the impact (or whatever it’d been) could be felt through a sharp and powerful vibrating of the table and furniture.

For a second, the world turned to absolute silence and everyone in the room shared terrified looks. It was a long, grave moment, like a slow-motion scene in a movie. Then the chaos unraveled.

The fire alarm went off, gunshots could be heard and people started screaming, everyone jumping to their feet in an instant.

Troy didn’t even have the time to feel satisfaction about the way fate was proving him right. Not even ten seconds later, he was running along the corridor, caught in a brainless stampede of students heading for the doors, his hand firmly locked in the fabric of Mike’s sleeve as if holding on to it was the last thing that mattered as the fires of Judgement Day came raining down on earth.

There were people tripping next to them, some of them went down, but they didn’t have the time or even the physical possibility to care for their fate. The only salvation seemed to be the door right ahead of them, like a beacon of light at the end of a tunnel. Again, gunshots, and this time they sounded significantly closer.

Screams increased, more people fell.

Then they’d made it outside.

The place outside the college was cramped with running people, like molten lava erupting from a volcano. The pickup stuck in the middle.

Still dragging Mike with him, Troy tried to fight his way to the vehicle nevertheless, unlocking the car only as they’d reached it, worried, other people might slip in with them.

But to Troy’s utter terror, that’s exactly what happened. As he shut the door behind him, he noticed people sliding in on the backseat. “Get outta here, you fuckers!” he wanted to bark at them, but Mike was faster.

Taking a look over his shoulder, he nodded at their unplanned company. “Everyone here?”

Only now Troy recognized the girl with the red glasses, the asshole with the crooked nose and the ponytail guy.

“We’re here.”

 

***

 

“Oh my God!” the pony-tailed friend of Mike called out, staring at his phone. “Apparently, someone fired a bomb at the gas station down the road! That must have been that crazy bang we heard!”

“What about the gunshots, Duffy?” the woman wanted to know, trying to catch a glimpse at her companion’s device.

_Duffy…_

“Sorry, Issy… It doesn’t say anything about that…” he replied.

“Naturally,” Mike commented. “It’s just happened minutes ago…”

Troy naturally noticed the scared look on Mike’s face – the same they all had, considering the horrifying events they just got away from. There was something else on his face, however, too, a strange pensiveness that Troy couldn’t quite read as his friend stared out of the car, appalled at the chaos that was now unfolding. “TEOTWAWKI...” he heard him whisper, and for a second, that single word made Troy’s heart skip a beat. So maybe Mike was still Mike after all, despite the beard and the silly nickname. Maybe he was still _his_ Mike, with all the things that had once mattered to him and connected them, ever since they were little kids.

He prayed that was the case as he steered the car through crowds of people running, fighting, screaming. It was as if the chaos from the college had instantly spread over the entire city. They were heading away from the city center, away from people gone mad, but once they turned around the next corner, the chaos had turned into pure anarchy. In the dusky twilight, garbage containers were set on fire, doors broken and shops raided.

“Holy shit…” The guy with the crooked nose whispered, the confident look now all gone. “What are we gonna do?”

“Head home,” Troy answered immediately, as if this was the only logical reply. Of course, he only meant Mike and himself by it. There was no place for the others.

“You’re from the same place JoJo came from?” Issy wants to know.

“Yeah, I am from the same place _JoJo_ comes from,” Troy replies, sarcastically using the nickname as well, and purposely changing the verb to present tense. “We grew up together, best friends since childhood.” He couldn’t even tell himself why he said all those things. It was like he felt the need to make it clear who Mike actually belonged with. Like he needed to stress the point that whatever it was that connected Mike and him, it was a thousand times older and a thousand times stronger than any bond those weirdos might think they had with him.

“Well, actually…” Mike suddenly added, and the way he said it made Troy dread what was about to come.

Only, he didn’t find out. Since right at that moment, their world turned upside down a second time.

A rough impact knocked them into their seats, the sound of crashing metal hurting their ears. The steering wheel broke free from Troy’s grip, then the car came to an unexpected halt.

They’d been hit by another car, crashed against the loading space of the pickup. It hadn’t been a grave accident, but shocking nevertheless.

“Oh my God…” Issy whispered, covering her mouth with her hands and polished fingernails. “Anyone hurt?”

“No…” Mike replied, breathing hard as Troy caught a glimpse in the rear mirror.

The person in the car that had crashed into them didn’t get out. But did move. It was a woman, and she was twitching in her seat uncontrollably, as if she was suffering from some kind of seizure.

“We have to get out of here,” Troy hissed through his teeth. “Now!”

Hastily, everyone undid their seatbelts, then crawled out of the car as fast as possible. And they hadn’t been a second too early: Duffy had just stumbled away from the car a few steps, as a minivan hit the woman’s car, pushing it half on top of the pickup.

“Holy shit!” They all called, staring at the scene with their eyes wide in shock. They’d stumbled right into one of the centers of all the chaos. Whatever it was that made people lose their minds all around, it was here to get them as well.

Other cars had ended up out of control, too, and all around them hooded hooligans with flaring torchlights, climbing the wrecked cars as if they were summiting a mountain. People were chased through the streets and again and again: gunshots.

On the far side of the street, Troy caught a glimpse at a family seeking refuge in a small barber shop the owner was in the middle of closing. “Wait!” he called, grabbing Mike’s arm and pulling him with him.

But Mike didn’t move. “No!” He pointed across the street where his friends were stuck on the other side of the crashed pickup. “Guys!”

“Get to safety!” Duffy called, and – tall as he was – waved at them over the crash site.

Reluctantly, Mike followed Troy, praying that his friends would find shelter somewhere as well.

The barber shop had been closed by now. A strong iron grid now sealing the door. The little shop next to it was actually a small Chinese restaurant. Troy didn’t hesitate a second. He wrapped his flannel shirt around his wrist, smashed the glass and reached through the hole to unlock the door. They pushed inside, slamming the door shut and barricading it with several tables and chairs.

Heart beating fast, they stood there petrified for a second, the noise of the chaos shut out and suddenly feeling like a distant nightmare.

And a nightmare it was indeed. But one they knew chances were they would never wake up from.

 

***

 

The first thing Mike went ahead with was pull out his phone and try to call his friends.

 _Really?!_ Troy turned away. After all the madness that had just happened, shouldn’t they be happy that they were both safe - and together? Wasn’t that in the end all that really mattered?

Apparently not.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck...!” Mike tried a different number. The quiet dialing sound could be heard in the silence of the narrow place.

Troy started to look around, keep his eyes open for another exit. They were trapped in here, and that wasn’t something Troy was very comfortable with, considering everything that was going on right outside their door. And yet, it wasn’t the worst. Troy winced in shock as he peeked behind the counter. There lay a dead waiter, bleeding from his throat. His face was pale and lifeless, yet, there was something about him that mesmerized Troy for a moment.

“No use,” Mike said eventually. “Service is dead.”

Troy couldn’t take his eyes off the dead person. “Yeah...” he murmured eventually. “I guess you could say that...”

“Holy freaking shit!!” Mike started yelling as all of a sudden, he spotted the corpse as well. “What is going on in this hellhole of a city?! We need to get outta here!” Dialing a number again out of sheer panic.

“Yeah, the front door still isn’t an option,” Troy murmured. His irritation at Mike’s obsession with his friends got to him more than the dead person behind the counter or the chaos outside. He’d been prepared for the end of the world. But he hadn’t been prepared for watching Mike slip through his fingers like the sand in an hourglass.

“Bash? Bash!” Apparently, this time, Mike’s efforts were successful. “Are you guys okay? Are Issy and Duffy with you?!”

 _Bash_. Must be that arrogant asshole with the crooked nose. And so the cast was complete. Bash, Issy, Duffy and JoJo. It sounded so ridiculous and idiotic, Troy had to fight back the urge to puke.

Mike kept on whining into the phone about how relieved he was his friends had found a safe place as well, and how shocked and traumatized they all were by these events.

_Yeah, Mike. You’ve been trained for that all your life. But apparently that’s also something you forgot._

To distract himself from the unpleasant feeling in his chest, Troy focused his attention on something that looked like a trap door in the ceiling, maybe if they could open it...

Mike was done with the call. “They’re safe,” he announced, as if Troy would sigh in relief now. “We’ll meet up again once we all made it out of the city.”

“We have to make it out of here first,” Troy reminded him, not commenting on the reunion part of Mike’s statement. “I’d say that’s our bigger issue right now, _JoJo_.”

“It’s just a stupid nickname,” Mike explained half-heartedly. “I got it when I read an article from one of the text books and –“ He paused. “It’s not like you care.”

“Oh, I care,” Troy insisted. “I do care. I’m dying to know why Mike ‘ _JoJo’_ Trimbol – or is it simply _JoJo Trimbol_ now? I’m a bit confused – would let himself be treated like an idiot by a bunch of… dorks like them.”

Mike took the insult without batting an eyelash. On the contrary. He smiled. “You don’t even know them.”

“Yeah, right, don’t know them. Issy and Duffy, Piffy and Puffy.” He took his eyes off the trap door, suddenly facing Mike, eyes full of reproach. “Because you never introduced me to them. You never even told me about them. Or this whole world you’ve created here! While I sat at home like an idiot, looking forward to the next time we could see each other.”

“Yeah, of course I had a life here, Troy!” Mike countered. “What did you think? That I would just sit in my room between classes, wallowing in self pity?” He didn’t even have to add the “Like you?” for Troy to know that’s what he meant. “There is more to this world than just the ranch.”

The words hit Troy like a knife thrust into his heart. And it hurt more than everything else that had happened so far on this goddamn, bloody, pitch-black day.

He wanted to counter something, to hurl something back at Mike just to prove he didn’t get to him, when all of a sudden, a loud knocking from the barber shop next door made them both wince.

“We need to get out of here,” Troy said automatically, pointing at the trap door, no matter the pain in his chest.

Together, they worked on it until it was open, revealing a small ladder that lead to a tiny attic.

Hastily, they climbed it - just as a menacing throb came from the door, made one of the propped up tables collapse to the floor. Then, a second throb. Someone was trying to get inside.

“Hurry!” Mike hissed, starting to undo the clasp of the ladder, Troy hastily giving him a hand.

The door downstairs was smashed in - just as they dropped the ladder to the floor. They hurried off before whoever just entered could spot them and decide to chase after them.

In truth however, the person who entered would have never come after them. Cause what Troy and Mike never found out: Service suddenly wasn’t so dead anymore.

 

***

 

The attic had a little window leading outside to the flat roof of the restaurant. It was their way to safety, since all the little shops and restaurants in the row were close and roughly the same height. They made their way across the rooftops, passing by the madness and chaos that was still going on down there on the street. It wasn’t just garbage cans burning anymore. Cars were on fire as well, the shouting of hooligans sounding like the battle cry of humanity’s final revolution.

In one of the back alleys, a bunch of raiders attacked a man who’d taken shelter in his car. They’d smashed the window and were now dragging him outside, punching him and shoving him around.

The man managed to break free, though, running for his life as they came after him.

“The car!” Troy hissed. “Doubt he removed the key.”

“We can’t steal a car, Troy,” Mike countered, staring at his friend in shock. “No matter what’s going on here, there’s still lines we can’t cross...”

Troy shot his friend a long look. “If we don’t take that car, the next random asshole coming to this alley will.” And without waiting for an answer, he started climbing off the roof, before his words could come true after all.

 

They never stopped the car. No matter what was on the street before them, no matter who tried to block their way. They kept going and going, until the crowded city center was finally behind them and the streets grew bigger and broader. They went on and on and eventually the suburbs of L.A. ended and they’d finally escaped the city. Troy took a look in the rear mirror - and this time there they were, the black clouds of smoke towering over the city.

Mike and he didn’t exchange a single word during all their ride, instead just sat there in silence.

Troy wondered if Mike was still thinking about his friends, hoping they were okay. Or whether it was still the shock of the end of the world hitting them so unexpectedly that made his face so grim and dark.

With the dangers of the city lying behind them and now there just being Mike and him again, the anger from before suddenly seemed far away. He was willing to forgive his friend for “cheating” on him with this new world. They were reunited now. Mike and Troy - them against the world. As it should be. It was a good feeling.

And most of all, he’d managed to save Mike. He didn’t even want to think of what might have happened if he hadn’t rushed to L.A. to get his friend. But now, Mike was here, happy and alive. Well, _alive_ at least. That was all Troy could have wished for.

 

They’d managed to drive for around fifty miles, when the traffic gradually increased - and slowly but surely they found themselves in the middle of a traffic jam, cars stopping on the highway for some reason, all trying to get away from the city.

“Damn it!” Troy hissed, cursing himself for the few minutes of relief he’d just granted himself. He should have known.

They were forced to stop by now as well, an unsettling feeling. Other vehicles stopped behind them, locking them in.

The car lights illuminated the highway in an eerie way, creating spots of blinding brightness amongst spots of impenetrable darkness.

The woman in the car next to them had their eyes fixed on them, staring at them with a mad gaze.

“Troy,” Mike called him. And Troy knew exactly what his friend wanted to say.

They couldn’t stay here. No way. Out here, they were like sitting ducks. It was too dangerous. They’d prefer the pitch black wilderness to this deadly and creepy prison they’d found themselves in. Wordlessly grabbing the flashlight and the single bottle of water they’d found in the stolen car, they got out of the vehicle, hastily making their way through the waiting cars, away from the road, away from people.

The woman that had been staring at them hit the side window with her palm as Mike passed her, but he ran without ever looking back.

 

***

 

They’d hiked through the pitch black wilderness for about half an hour, when eventually they spotted a smaller road in the distance, a tiny building next to it, illuminated by a single street light. It was a small tollhouse, long abandoned thanks to automatic toll billing that was now standard on most highways. A relic from the past, abandoned and forgotten. But invaluable when modern society failed.

For the second time that day, they broke a lock, this time careful not to damage the door. Once it was open, they snuck inside, hastily grabbing the next best items they could use as weapons in case they weren’t alone here after all.

Turns out, they were. The place had been ransacked before, yeah, but everything was still and quiet.

With the sudden calm around them, a strange melancholy started to weigh on both of them. Or maybe it was just the exhaustion. They needed to get some sleep, that was for sure. Tomorrow, ranch. Then they would finally be safe. For tonight, this tollhouse would do.

They barricaded the door once again, this time actually moving a huge and heavy desk in front of the door. No one would ever manage to push that away from the door from the outside anytime soon.

There was actually a second floor - just a tiny room, where in ancient times the toll officer may have spent his breaks. It was perfect for them. It had windows to each side and it gave them a nice view on their surroundings. On top of that, there was an actual door here that still had a key. So locking themselves in here provided an extra level of safety they were both very grateful for.

There wasn’t much they could have used as blankets or pillows in here, so they would have to make do with the seat cushions from the two chairs by the table in the corner.

They wouldn’t die from a night on the floor. Tomorrow, everything would be fine again.

And - shooting Mike a glance from the side - Troy couldn’t help thinking: _Or maybe things already are._

That thought only lasted a second, as when Mike turned around, he once again pressed his phone against his ear. “Issy, hey, it’s JoJo,” he started talking again. “Where are you?”

Troy’s heart dropped once again as Mike was back occupied with his friends. He’d been a fool to believe things were back to normal just because they’d spent a few minutes in a car together. What if things would never go back to the way they used to be? What if Mike would return to L.A. to live through this catastrophe with his friends instead of his family? What if...

“Glad to hear you all made it home safely. Yeah, we’re alright as well,” Mike continued. “We found a safe place on the road. Will be home tomorrow as well. Please take care, all of you.”

Eventually, the phone call ended, and Mike turned around.

“Is everyone alright?” Troy forced himself to ask.

“Yeah, they all made it back to their homes safely and are with their families now,” Mike explained, and that actually gave Troy a little hope. Maybe they wouldn’t need him now anymore. Maybe he would follow their example and stay home with his family as well. He wished for it so badly.

“Thank God,” Mike added. “If I’d lost them...” He suddenly looked at Troy, then stopped, as if out of courtesy.

That gesture irritated Troy. “Then what?” he demanded, although dreading the answer.

Mike shook his head and turned away. “Nothing.”

Another slap in the face. “What, Mike?!” Troy pushed. “Say what you wanted to say.”

“I’m too tired to fight,” Mike just announced, taking a few steps away from him.

Troy however was with him in a second, grabbing his arm to turn him around.

They were eye to eye now, Troy staring at his friend with reproach and remorse at the same time. That face. That damn, pretty, familiar face. The beautiful gray eyes he knew so well, he loved so much to lose himself in.

And that goddamned beard that turned all of that into something else, something new. Something different. He hated it.

“What, Mike?” he kept pushing, voice now a growl. He didn’t want to fight either, but if it had to be, then it couldn’t be helped.

“Then I’d be alone.”

“You have me!!” Troy barked at him, the hurt and anger bursting free. “You always had me!!” he accused his friend. “Always have, always will! Why is that never enough?!”

Silence returned after Troy’s yelling had faded in the darkness, and for a long while, they were just staring at each other.

Mike’s expression was unfazed, even though there was something in his eyes, as if he’d realized something he hadn’t been aware of before.

Goddamn, whatever conclusion Mike might draw from that. Troy didn’t care anymore. He suddenly felt strangely indifferent and empty. As if by saying those words, he’d given away his most precious belonging.

So screw this. For once, he wanted Mike to see. No matter the consequences.

He leaned forward and caught Mike’s lips in a kiss.

It was a mixture of anger, hurt and wariness, and certainly nothing like he’d ever pictured his first kiss with Mike. His first kiss.

It was full of reproach, demanding. Possessive. Mike was his. He should be his. Why didn’t he see?!

Seconds later, Troy pulled back again. He wasn’t ashamed. He didn’t regret it. Instead, he held Mike’s eyes determinedly. _At least I got your attention now, huh?_

The other man was clearly taken by surprise, looking at Troy as if he was staring at a stranger. But maybe that’s what it took. A different look, to finally see.

A soft breath in the darkness, then Mike closed the distance again, this time taking Troy by surprise. It was just a short kiss, just a reaction to the previous action, but once it was over, Mike’s lips lingered there just an inch from his.

And suddenly, the air around them had changed. There was a prickling sensation, strange and luring, and Troy felt a sting in his stomach. Those eyes. Those beautiful eyes.

He couldn’t remember who closed the gap the third time, but no one dared to stop the wave that surged them once the dam had broken.

He felt Mike’s hands on his body, kisses along his neck, mixing with warm breaths. The beard felt strange, he didn’t like it. But right at that moment, he didn’t care. _Mike_ , was all he could think. God, he was really going to have him, all of him - and for that he could accept the beard with pleasure.

An incredibly strong need came over him, unlike anything he’d ever experienced so far. He wanted for it to happen. Now. Fast. Before Mike might change his mind after all. Eagerly, he worked on his friend’s clothes, undoing buttons and zippers, then hands touched bare skin. Warm skin.

“Mike,” he whispered into the darkness, breath speeding up as his instincts took over. “ _Mike_...”

 

Troy had never been that aware of his body. But right here, right now, in the heated darkness of the room, he felt as if he could sense every fiber of his body, every atom he was made of, each one of them buzzing softly, a sweet tickling, a pleasant sensation, as his heartbeat was slowly going back to normal.

Appalled, but with the most blissful of smiles he had his eyes fixed on the dark ceiling above them, gazing at a random spot there as if it was a miraculous work of art to gape at.

Behind it, the universe, wide and huge and infinite. Or maybe there really was a heaven up there after all.

Troy might actually be willing to reconsider, feeling Mike’s breath warm against his neck.

God bless the apocalypse.

 

***

 

And somewhere, several dozen miles away, Nick Clark laughed as he slammed a bunch of play money bills on the table and bought Boardwalk.


End file.
